FAMOUS ALIEN IMPLANTS
Match the Celebrity to the Implant!
(It's not as obvious as you think!  Answers at bottom of page.)


Celebrity*

Carl Lewis - Olympic Superstar!

Pamela Lee Anderson - Television Superstar!

Monica Lewinsky - Tabloid Superstar!

William Gibson - Science Fiction Superstar!

Whitley Strieber - Abductee Superstar!

1. Carl Lewis

2. Pamela Lee Anderson

3. Monica Lewinsky

4. William Gibson

5. Whitley Strieber


Implant**

A. Chest

B. Dental-Penile

C. Ear Canal

D. Leg or Arm

E. Nasal/Cranial

Fun Facts: Two egg sacs; each gestates a single silicone-based life form.  Does not work for silicon-based life forms.

Fun Facts: Controlled, non-impregnating method of transmitting alien messages via encoded genetic material to human/alien dental-implant transceivers. No, really!

Fun Facts: Human/Alien relay transceiver (aural model).  Also can be disabled by wearing aluminum-foil hat.

Fun Facts: Tiny gyro-
scopic motor that powers other bodily implants.  Requires monthly abduction recharging.

Fun Facts: Brain interface (sinus model). Can be disabled by eating any type of ice cream or similar dessert.

 

* This is only a small section of implanted celebrities.  For the full list, see The News of the World 1998 Fact Book.

** This is only a small selection of available alien implants.  For a complete menu, see Short Greys' Handbook (CIA Press; 1997).

 


ANSWERS TO PUZZLE: 5 = A, B, C, D, E.

Just kidding; here are the real answers. 1 = D, 2 = A, 3 = B, 4 = E, and 5 = C.  So maybe it was kinda obvious what we would say.*

 

Puzzle ©1998 Andrew G. McCann <andy@planetmag.com>


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